COMMENTS ON MY OWN EXPERIENCES

The biggest thing with this disease is that you feel as if you are losing your mind. You feel as if someone or something has taken complete control of your body. You go from crying for no apparent reason to wanting to kill something or someone and that someone is generally yourself. You know what is happening to you is not right or "normal", but you cannot do anything about it. Your mind and body do not cooperate with your wishes.

P.M.S. is a cake-walk compared to Insulin Resistance Disease.

I had made an appointment to see an Endocrinologist after trying with six different ob-gyns, who sent me to a heart specialist, a diet specialist was suggested, and various general practitioners. All this took 12 years! I was going through the process of elimination. I kept suggesting to these doctors that I had a "chemical problem". None believed me.

I was 4 days away from my appointment (which took 3 months to get) when I had a major "episode" as they are called. It was Easter 1997, and my husband and I were going out to a relatives for dinner. Nothing went right for me. My hair looked bad, the clothes did not fit right, I didn't feel good, and then - BANG! I just started crying, and crying, and then I just wanted to die. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was over 300 pounds, tired all the time, and basically I just couldn't face another day. Luckily my husband thought I did have something to live for, and helped me through it all.

That Monday I called and got an appointment for that same day - it was either that or no more me. Looking back on that day I must have looked a sight. I had dark sunglasses on, my long hair pulled forward to hide my face, and I couldn't stop crying. When I was called for my appointment, my husband had to lead me to the examination room. We waited for the doctor for what seemed to me to be hours, which in fact was only a few minutes. I had to answer a 200 questionnaire while I waited. All kinds of strange questions. I thought my problem was hormonal, because I had had everything short of my brain eliminated. My new doctor, however, took one look at me and said "I believe you have Insulin Resistance Disease." Of course the first question is "What is that?"

It seems this disease is hereditary. I had had relatives drop like flies in the 1960's from coronary heart disease, and my father had to have triple-bypass surgery. This disease if left untreated leads to kidney failure and coronary heart disease. BINGO! I finally had my answer to the problem. I was right all those years when the other doctors would not listen. However, I cannot be too hard on them, as this disease is very difficult to diagnose. Most General Practitioners are unable to diagnose this disease. It seems that this disease has only been known of since the 1950's and has only become treatable since the 1990's.

The treatment entails the taking of some medications, a change in diet, and exercise (Walking about 15 minutes per day to start). I now had the key to the problem and it was time to fight back .

After taking the medication for a few days, there was a change in my attitude and outlook on life. I wanted to live. But there still loomed a larger problem: I am a gourmet cook - I now have to cook and eat only low carbohydrate foods - AND NO SUGAR!!! I have to keep my carbohydrate intake to 25 grams per meal. This was very hard. This is the Pasta Queen and the Fresh Bread Nut here. I love rice, cakes, pasta, cookies, ice cream, candy, pizza, and everything else that I could no longer have. Panic struck! What the heck am I supposed to eat? So, I got to work and invested in some new cookbooks with the dietary breakdowns listed, and grabbed Dr. Art Ulene's book on carbohydrates for a start. One thing I have found I am very good at, other than cooking, is research. I have read any and everything I could get my hands on on this disease. I surfed the web along with my husband, we went to bookstores, we read periodicals and medical papers. Just about anything we could get our hands on.

It was such a good feeling to have some control of my life. Actually, this is the first time in my life I have truly had control. I had been on so many diets throughout my life. I got real dizzy on that seesaw. Now, I do lose weight and keep it off. As of November 16, 1998 I have lost a total of 90 pounds. It's like losing another person. I feel great, have loads of energy, and my outlook on life has vastly improved. My husband calls me slim, and says he always knew that what he was experiencing before my treatment wasn't really me. I really appreciate and love that man. He has gone with me from hell and back many times, and is still here with me. He is my rock.

As far as the new menus go, I have found numerous alternatives to pasta, rice, cakes, and sugar. I never deprive myself of dessert after a meal. No cake or ice cream though. I eat fresh berries, baked apples or squash, fruit and cream crepes, and sometimes, just a cappuccino. The biggest thing with any diet is make it not a diet. I know that sounds silly but in order to stick to a new way of eating, you have to change your lifestyle. The foods are out there. You just have to learn where they are and how to use them.

I had thought that I would never be able to eat in a restaurant again. Well, I was wrong. I can eat East Indian cuisine which is made with yogurt and spices and is very tasty. I can eat Mexican food - just omit the beans, rice, and tortillas. I eat Italian - no pasta, but eggplant, salads, pizza (only eat the toppings), and chicken are on my menu. I even go to Denny's and have breakfast. I even eat pancakes - I only use 1 Tablespoon of syrup. I still cook a lot and all the dishes have flavor, and I never want the old stuff. I don't miss them at all. I have thought, just a taste - boy, does it taste gross once you get away from it. I hate pasta!!! Cake is gross!! No more Pasta and Bread Queen - Long live the Healthy Nut on Low Carbohydrates, Low fat, and Very Low Sugar Substitutes.

If I can do this, anyone can. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's not what you're used to. Yes, right now all those other things taste yummy. And, yes, in 6 months they will all taste gross.